The colour of my happiness....

I feel that it started in autumn, when I began to see that I was behaving like someone looking for something... something that is still hard to define... And because I couldn't define it, I started running away from it, distracting my attention, doing other things, so many other things... I forgot again about my essential things and at one point I felt lonely and that I had nothing to turn to, just because I started running, thus consuming, and forgot a part of myself in the process... It is this autumn that opened my eyes and made me STOP and think... The way I live my experiences, the lack of respect I show myself, the way I feel about persons in my life, the values that I have...

A venit toamna, acopera-mi inima cu ceva,
cu umbra unui copac sau mai bine cu umbra ta.
Mă tem ca n-am să te mai vad, uneori,
ca or să-mi creasca aripi ascutite pana la nori,

ca ai să te ascunzi intr-un ochi strain,
si el o să se-nchida cu o frunza de pelin.

Si-atunci mă apropii de pietre si tac, iau cuvintele si le-nec în mare. Suier luna si o rasar si o prefac intr-o dragoste mare.

I stopped and panicked...

And without realizing I started to run anyway from the intensity with which I invested the experiences that I undergone...conferences, judgments of my own or of the ones around, family differences, talking with people, changes , people that left my life and people that came in...

I guess I still run away... Such a fool... I am intensity and consumption... I am made of people... My happiness is made out of colors of their emotions and my inner beauty and enrichment...

I'm tired of this running game... I need to change, I need to build... I need to delete the fear of feeling and start expressing... And I'm going to start from the body that is home for my mind and soul... Then continue with the mental and spiritual evolution ... I'm going back to the basics... I'm going to rediscover processes and reinvent them for myself...

First rediscovery: Love is friendship on fire...

Second rediscovery: Step back and be inspired...

I am a part of something... everyday... And I stopped looking for paradise, for I have it next to me when I'm wise enough to open my eyes...


Micky,
Thanking those that color my happiness, give me inspiration and make me feel...